A Reason for Returning
by Emerald Kitten
Summary: What if Daryl had another reason for why he was so hell bent on returning to the prison with Merle besides shelter and food? This one-shot explores and extends the moment between Carol and Daryl in Ep 3.11 when they are reunited in his cell. But what would a reunion be without both Dixon brothers? Rated for Dixon mouth.


** A Reason for Returning.**

"He's your brother, but he's not good for you. Don't let him bring you down. After all look how far you've come."

Daryl glanced around the cold grey cell; the depressing place he now called home. His few meagre possessions where scattered around the room haphazardly. He was squeezed uncomfortably onto a bunk which had previously belonged to a criminal. A man that was now dead. He was sleeping in a dead mans bed for Christ's sake! _How far he'd come_? Who was she kidding?

Despite his best intentions, Daryl Dixon was calling a prison home.

His entire life, Daryl had worked hard not to end up in the joint. He'd watch Merle get carted off to juvie enough times when he was a kid. Daryl had made a promise to himself that he would never be like his brother.

Daryl Dixon had made it his life's mission not to end up in prison.

And yet here he was…voluntarily calling a cell his home. Life really was a bitch. All those years of keeping out of Merle's hair brained schemes, of trying to keeping his nose clean, and he still landed up _here_. The world had gone to shit, law and society had completely gone out the window, and yet Daryl Dixon was still sitting in a prison cell. If there was a God, he certainly had a fucked up sense of humour.

Carol saying he had come far was ironic. Seemed that despite the end of the world, a Dixon was still calling a prison home. No matter how far he'd come, all the wrongs he'd tried to right since the world as they knew it had exploded in their faces, none of it had made an ounce of difference. He still landed up in the joint.

But at that moment, there was nowhere else he'd rather be.

He looked up at the woman sitting across from him. Both laughed nervously as their eyes met, like two children who'd been caught playing in church when they should be paying attention. Daryl quickly dropping his gaze; the light he saw in her eyes wasn't something you expected to see in a dark depressing prison. His head snapped around the room, refusing to meet her shining gaze again. She always looked at him with such hope, such trust. Carol looking at him like that always made him nervous; like she was expecting something from him. The woman had gone through hell herself, and yet she still managed to stay positive; still managed to see the good in everything and everyone. Never let the shit piling up around her get her down.

It made him nervous whenever Carol looked at him like that. Like she was still looking for that man of honour she expected Rick to be when they fled the Greene farm months ago. Daryl occasionally wondered if Carol might be looking to him_ instead _of Rick to be that man of honour she talked about. He knew her faith in Rick was soon restored after the remaining group fled the farm, but despite this Carol still made him nervous. He knew that if she looked too hard at him, if he let her see what he really was, she wouldn't see a man of honour at all. He was worried that if she looked closely enough, she'd find he was still just a Dixon. A worthless, good-for-nothing loser like his father before him.

He never wanted Carol to see him as that man. Ever. His daddy had been a first class son-of-a-bitch. He was mean drunk with a sharp tongue and a nasty leather belt. Both the Dixon boys had received their father's love at the end of that belt.

Daryl swore to never end up like his father. He didn't _want_ to be his father.

He snuck a glance at Carol when her gaze fell to the floor. He found more and more lately he was sneaking a look when her head was turned. Her body was still lightly shaking with laughter. Damn it was good to hear her laugh. He hadn't realized until that moment how much he'd missed that sound. Hell, after thinking she'd died in the tombs with T-Dog it was enough just to see her alive.

The pad of heavy footfalls on the walkway outside interrupted their laughter. Merle appeared silhouetted against the cell doorway, the sunlight from outside framing his hulking body. "The Dixon brother's finally together in the big house," he chuckled bitterly. "Our Pa would be proud." His appearance silenced the laughter in the cell, replacing it with an air of tension.

At that moment, Daryl hated his brother. Merle always had to ruin everything. His entire life, Merle weren't there, and if he was he'd been fuckin' something up for him. His brother. The same man who claimed to love Daryl more than anyone else ever would.

If he gave two shits about Daryl he wouldn't of left him in that house alone with their bastard of a father. If Merle really had cared for Daryl, he'd have stuck around. He'd have saved his brother from their daddy. Merle knew exactly what kind of man their father was. What the hell did Merle think; that their father wouldn't do to Daryl what that bastard had already done to him when he was a kid?

Men like their Pa didn't beat one kid and not the other. Weren't no favourites in the Dixon household.

Carol was fidgeting anxiously in her seat. Daryl knew without asking it was his brother's sudden appearance that had put her on edge. He watched as she wrapped her arms around her tiny waist, hugging herself, shrinking lower into her seat as she did so. She was trying to hide her presence in the room. She was trying to hide from Merle. Daryl hadn't seen her with that same introverted air since that bastard of a husband of hers had been alive at the quarry.

God, he wished he had of been the one to put that pick axe through Ed's head…before he was bit.

"Need somethin' Merle?" Daryl asked, his voice guarded. His gaze shifted from Carol to the doorway as he addressed his brother. He hated seeing her so nervous. So unlike the Carol he had come to know over the winter. That Carol was strong. She was a fighter. She pushed his boundaries. The woman sitting across from him now was a ghost; a person he had thought was dead and buried.

Daryl couldn't quite make out his brother's face against the light streaming into the cell, but he could see Merle shoulders where still shaking with amusement. "Just seein' where you were at baby brother. Nice digs you got here," the older man paused as he scanned the room. His gaze landed in Carol's direction. "Nice…décor in here," he drawled.

Carol shifted nervously in her chair. She glanced at Daryl; her eye's wide and haunted…a shadow of what they were moments ago when she'd been laughing with him. "I better go check on Judith. It's about time for her next feeding," her voice was timid as she spoke. She gave Daryl a small apologetic smile as she rose.

"Don't go leavin' on my account sweetheart," Merle smirked at the woman standing before him.

Carol moved towards the exit, ignoring the older Dixon's comment. She paused at the doorway; trapped. Merle was blocking the only way out.

"Move your goddamn ass Merle," Daryl grumbled. He wasn't used to standing up to his brother. This concept was still so new to him. Before, when it was just the two of them, Daryl would have gone along with anything Merle said. But it had been about a year since Merle had had that hold over Daryl.

This was a new world; new rules applied.

Daryl loved his brother. He was glad they were back together, even if it were in the joint. But for a fleeting moment, Daryl imagined how easy it would be if he had never found Merle; never lead him back to the prison. Without Merle, no-one would be walking 'round on eggshells. Without Merle, Glenn and Maggie wouldn't have been captured. Axel would still be alive.

Carol wouldn't have that scared look in her eye.

Standing there with an air of arrogance, Merle turned his body slightly, twisting himself so that Carol could just squeeze through the too narrow space. Damn bastard had never been accused of being a gentleman, and apparently he weren't about to start now. The woman sighed in annoyance, but angled her body to move past the more intimidating man without having to touch him. Daryl felt his chest tighten at the sight of Carol's body brushing so close to Merle's. As his brother's face caught the light filtering in from the windows, Daryl watched Merle's gaze lingering on her body as she passed by. The asshole even had a leering smile plastered on.

That tightening in Daryl's chest was getting worse.

Carol turned to face Daryl again once she was free of the cell. "I'll see you later?" Her eyes locked with Daryl's, addressing only him as she smiled tentatively. Daryl nodded his head once in response, allowing the corner of his mouth to twitch up slightly in a farewell smirk as he silently agreed to her question. Carol's smile grew instantly wider. The woman turned on her heel and walked away, the sound of her soft steps leading away from his cell and towards Judith's makeshift crib on his old perch.

The tightening in his chest lessened the further she moved away from his brother.

"What the hell do you want?" Daryl felt exhausted just asking that question of his brother. He didn't want to deal with his Merle's shit now; Daryl just wanted to be left alone. If his brother had of just stayed away, like what he'd been doing Daryl's whole life, everything would be simpler. He'd be alone in his cell instead of waiting for Merle to speak. Well, alone with Carol if Merle hadn't of scared her away. Daryl had grown used to her quiet company. No matter how nervous that woman made him feel, something about her just made him feel…better. Like he was home.

Daryl didn't want to think about his reason for that too much. Like Carol had said; the prison was their home now. It wasn't _her_ that made him feel like that. It couldn't be. He wouldn't let that be the reason he'd come back here. The group needed him; needed his help against the Governor. He couldn't stand by and watch his new family get slaughtered by this new threat. Daryl was back where he belonged, that's all it was. Plain and simple.

That's what he kept telling himself.

Letting people in was what got you killed. He'd already let Carol in closer than anyone else before, including Merle. The man was his brother, but he didn't know Daryl. Asshole didn't _want_ to know Daryl; just wanted a little brother like when they were kids. Someone to follow him blindly and obey his commands. Merle wanted to be the senior officer and he wanted Daryl to be a lowly solider. No opinions, no desires, no beliefs aside from what Merle himself believed. Merle didn't really want a brother; he wanted a carbon copy of himself without the backbone. Daryl had realized that cold fact when they were trekking through the woods before he had felt the pull of the prison calling him back.

Calling him home.

The older Dixon brother still hadn't answered his brothers' question. He just stood still blocking the doorway, staring at something outside the cell with his head tipped to the side, intently focused on whatever was so damn interesting out there. Asshole wasn't paying attention to Daryl. The bastard had interrupted him and Carol, sent her running scared from the room, and now he wasn't even listening? What the fuck was Merle's problem?

The younger Dixon pushed off from the bed and walked to the door of the cell, determined to see exactly what was so damn interesting out there. He had a sneaking suspicion of what he would find, but Daryl honestly hoped he would be wrong. He stuck his head out past Merle's body and followed his brother's gaze down the walkway.

Standing on his old perch was Carol, rocking Lil' Asskicker in her arms as she spoke softly to the fussing baby. No one else was on the landing. Hell, now that Daryl thought about it, no one else was even living in the top row of cell blocks. One look at Merle and they'd all moved to the lower level…everyone except Carol that is. Daryl had noticed her belongs were still in her same cell not far from his.

Moving back into the cell, Daryl resumed his seat on the bunk. He picked up the bolt he'd been playing with, passing it back and forth between his hands as he watched his brother still standing in the doorway. Merle kept staring down the walkway; apparently too busy watching Carol with the baby to remember Daryl was still there.

Daryl had the strange desire to gouge out his brother's eyes out; stop him from lookin' at Carol like that. He'd seen that look on Merle's face before in the past. He knew what his brother was thinking.

"Stop staring like a goddamn asshole," Daryl grumbled. He'd had enough of his brother looking at Carol like that. Daryl didn't want Merle getting any ideas about her. Merle had a way with women. Daryl didn't understand it; why women were attracted to such a bastard. The thought of Carol…with his brother…that shit was NOT gonna happen.

Merle turned back into the cell, smirking as he spoke. "Just enjoying the view brother. Ain't too much else 'round here to see."

Daryl grunted; his eyes fixed on the bolt in his hand. "Still ain't nothin' for _you_ to see out there."

The older man stepped into the cell and sat on the chair Carol had just vacated. He rested his elbows on his knees as he faced his brother. "You sweet on that?" Merle asked with amusement. He jerked his head towards the cell door, indicating the direction in which Carol had just left.

"Pfft," Daryl shrugged off the comment. He felt his heart race at Merle's question. Daryl tried not to think about Carol like that. That definitely complicated shit if he started to think of her in that way. It was a distraction. In this life now, you couldn't afford distractions. You got distracted, you died. Simple as that. If he let his guard down for even a second he could die. _Carol could die_. That thought alone was enough to wake him from a dead sleep in the middle of the night. After what happened to Sophia, he couldn't let Carol down again. So any thoughts of_ her_ in that way he put out of his head. He wouldn't let her get hurt again. He couldn't let that happen…not to her.

Daryl kept his eyes fixed on the bolt in his hand, focusing intently on it. He wasn't going to look at his brother. Merle had a way of seeing straight though him. "We got enough problems at the moment; need to keep our guard up. I don't need to watch you strike out with her."

An insulted sounding huff came from Merle's direction. "Come on brother, when ya ever known me to strike out?"

"First time for everything," Daryl muttered under his breath. "You sent her runnin' scared outta here Merle. She ain't interested."

Merle chuckled bitterly. "You know what I think little brother?"

Daryl kept silent, his eyes still fixed on the bolt in his hand. He didn't want to hear what his brother was thinking. Merle had a habit of seeing what you tried to hide from him. Whatever his brother was thinking, guaranteed it was something Daryl wouldn't want to hear. Wouldn't stop the older Dixon from saying him his piece though. No-one could shut Merle up when had something to say. Just like when they were kids, Merle was gonna do and say whatever the hell he wanted to, regardless of what anyone else had to say on the matter.

"I think you dragged me back to this shithole for more than just shelter and a pot ta piss in. I think ya came back for _her_."

Daryl's grasp on the bolt tightened. Looking down at his hands, he realized the knuckles on his hand clutching the bolt had turned white. If he kept this up, he'd snap the bolt in two.

He didn't want to hear this shit from Merle. He couldn't afford to think of Carol like that. No way in hell she was thinking of him like that. He'd come back to help protect the group; his _new_ family. That's what he told himself when he and Merle were in the woods. Strength in numbers, that's what it was. He didn't need Merle lookin' any deeper into his reasons for returning. His asshole of a brother had always had an eerie way of knowing what Daryl was thinking before Daryl had even thought it. When they were kids, Daryl had been convinced that Merle could read his mind.

There was no way he'd come back here for her, was there? Carol can't have been the driving reason for his single mindedness return to the prison…to his home.

"Came back 'cause I belong here," Daryl huffed as he kept staring intently at the bolt in his hand. He didn't trust himself to look at his brother.

"Don't you lie to me boy," Merle growled. "You were a shitty liar when we was kids and you ain't gotten much better at it. Ya had another reason for returnin', and I bet ya that woman's behind it. Come on boy," the older man goaded, begging for Daryl's attention. "Can't even look me in the eye can ya?" The challenge was clear in Merle's voice as he addressed Daryl.

Out of the corner of his eye, Daryl could see Merle leaning forward, edging his way closer to the bunk, trying to get into his brother's space. Trying to intimidate him. It was hard to ignore someone when their face was shoved up in yours. It was same tactic Merle used to use when they were kids and he wanted Daryl's attention. Daryl kept his eyes focused on the bolt. His fingers were starting to cramp up from the strain of holding it.

"You even stuck it to her yet?" Merle taunted.

The bolt slipped through Daryl's startled fingers, clattering loudly on the concrete floor as it landed. He felt his ears burning bright red, and he knew his face would match. Goddamn Merle! Same tactless prick he remembered. Always saying shit to get a reaction; always had a way of embarrassing Daryl. Whether he'd had an audience or they were alone, Merle had always been an ass.

The younger Dixon dropped towards the ground. He fumbled with the bolt as he tried to pick it up. Damn thing kept rolling all over the cell floor. The bolt had grown a mind of its own; rolling underneath the bed as he tried to pick it up. He hoped Merle couldn't see how much his fingers were shaking as he tried desperately to secure the offending item. Why couldn't he stop his hands from shaking? What the hell was wrong with him, reacting like that?

Why the fuck was it so goddamn hard to pick up this fuckin' thing?!

The snide chuckling Daryl could hear coming from the corner of the cell weren't helpin' matters neither.

"Looks like you're havin' some trouble there brother. Need a hand?" Merle asked with amusement.

"Can't be asking you for a hand no more can I? Ain't got one to spare," grunted Daryl as he continued searching for the elusive item on the floor. Finally, he managed to find and get a good grip on the bolt. Clutching it tightly in his hand, he sat back on the bunk, sneaking a glance at Merle as he did so.

The older Dixon brother hadn't moved. Daryl had expected a sea of rage to be rolling off of Merle; a result of Daryl being a smartass. Merle didn't take too kindly to someone sassin' him. But what Daryl saw when he looked at his brother had definitely not been what he expected. Instead of the rage-filled Dixon he had expected to find, Daryl found a calm and in control Merle watching him through narrowed eyes. Studying him.

"You know what?" Merle started as he watched his brother, "I think you _are_ sweet on 'er. Ya want that woman and you don't know how the hell to get into her pants do ya? Standin' out in the rain with ya dick in ya hands and you got no goddamn idea what to do next."

"Shut up," Daryl muttered, still embarrassed. "It ain't like that."

"You're wrong brother," Merle said with a knowing glint in his eye. "You can't hide from Ol' Merle. I think that's _exactly_ what it's like. In fact," the older man paused as he leaned back against the cell wall, folding his arms behind his head and bringing his feet up to rest on the bunk mattress in one fluid movement, "I don't think ya want the competition. I think you're afraid of havin' another rooster in the henhouse. Ya know given the choice she'll pick the _better_ man."

"How you figure that?" The words were out of Daryl's mouth before he could stop them. Why the fuck did he just say that to Merle? Made it sound like he _was_ thinkin' of Carol like that. Problem was, now that Merle had said that, Daryl's couldn't do nothing_ but _think of her. Couldn't get the image of her soft smile outta his head. And that only made his blush return with a vengeance.

Too many other things made their way into his head if he started thinking about her like that. _Like she could be his._ All her joking around, all her sweet smiles just for him…they were just friends. That's all it could be. All it ever would be. She gave that same smile to Rick. No way she was thinkin' of Daryl as anything other than a friend. A comrade. Sure, she was the closest person to him here, but that was a friendship born from mutual loss and shared pain. She only smiled and joked around with him to get a reaction. She liked to make him uncomfortable, no other reason behind it. Something to do to pass the time. With a friend.

Carol was a good woman. That good woman deserved better than a Dixon that was for damn sure.

She deserved better than him. He couldn't even look her in the eye for more than two seconds for Christ's sake!

The older Dixon brother smiled a cocky grin at Daryl, obviously happy to have finally gotten the reaction he was looking for. "Look at you dummy," Merle nodded his chin towards Daryl, "then look at me. Ain't no contest. You know the ladies always go for Merle. Every time."

Daryl hated to admit it, but it was true. His brother always had a way with women; that fact was undeniable. He hated to think that Carol, his Carol, might fall for Merle's charms. '_His Carol_?' where the fuck had that come from? Daryl shot a hate-filled glare at Merle.

"Screw you man." Daryl kicked out defiantly at Merle's feet that still rested at the foot of his bunk. The sudden action threw Merle for a second, making Daryl smirk as the other man faltered before quickly regaining his balance. Damn bastard was still wearing his cocky grin though, like he was proud of himself or something.

"No brother; think I'd rather be screwin' that sweet little piece of ass that just left," Merle said arrogantly as he leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees. "I'll show her what a _real_ man can do. I'll start off nice and slow, break her in like. Yes sir," the older man licked his lips as his eyes glazed over, "I'd have her screamin' my name 'fore the days out. I'm gonna ride that filly all the way to town. Just the thought of runnin' my hand up over her soft-"

Daryl's fist connected heavily with his brother's mouth, silencing Merle instantly. The younger Dixon hadn't even realized that he'd leapt from the bunk he was sitting on to pounce on his brother. He'd wrenched Merle from his sitting position, pining the other man against the wall. Daryl had never done anything like that to his brother before, but at the moment, he couldn't take anymore of Merle's taunting and innuendoes. He wasn't gonna listen to Merle speak about her like that. No fuckin' way. The thought of Carol with Merle…Daryl was not gonna let that shit happen. He wouldn't let Merle get his disease ridden body anywhere near Carol. She deserved better than that. She'd already had one man treat her like dirt; no way in hell was he gonna let that happen to her again. Especially NOT with his prick of a brother.

A wave of unfamiliar jealously had reared its ugly head within Daryl. He wasn't used to feeling this way. The feeling made him want to rip his brother's spine out through his mouth and beat Merle unconscious with it.

Daryl pushed his face right up against his brother's; the two men standing nose to nose as Daryl pinned Merle against the wall. The intimidation game could be played by both sides. "You ain't ridin' no-one Merle. Get that through your thick head. Carol's off limits, understand?!" The younger Dixon spat the words into his brother's face as he spoke.

Merle shook free of his brother's restraining hands, shoving against Daryl's chest. The action sent Daryl stumbling back several steps, separating the two men. Both stood at opposite sides of the room, glaring as their chests rose and fell in unison. Merle raised his remaining hand to his mouth, wiping away the blood that had trickled from his split lip. He looked down at his fingers and started chuckling.

Anger Daryl could understand. Hell, he'd been raised with nothing else. He expected Merle to lash out; to fight back. Knowing his brother's temper, Daryl was surprised he wasn't already curled up on the floor getting the shit kicked outta him courtesy of his big brother. But that didn't happen. The older Dixon brother was reacting in a way that was completely foreign to Daryl. Merle had never laughed like that before when they fought. Daryl wondered for a moment if maybe he'd smashed the other man's head into the wall hard enough to cause brain damage. The sound of Merle laughing, after Daryl had socked him one to the chops, just didn't make sense.

"What's so goddamn funny jackass?" Daryl watched as Merle sauntered to the door, his brother's shoulders shaking with laughter still.

Merle turned and grinned at his brother; the sight all the more eerie thanks to the crimson stain of blood on the older man's teeth. He eyed Daryl with something resembling respect. That was new too. Merle had never shown his baby brother the slightest ounce of respect before.

"Woo-wee boy! Guess I struck a nerve, didn't I? Don't like me talkin' 'bout your woman like that do ya?"

Daryl didn't trust himself to speak again, instead choosing to glare at his brother through narrowed eyes. In that one punch Daryl had said everything. No amount of denying now would take back Daryl's reaction to his brother's badgering. Merle, a man who'd probably never said an honest word in his life, had been able to see straight through his brother's excuses to see Daryl's true reason for wanting to return to the prison. A truth Daryl hadn't wanted to admit to himself.

Merle had been able to see the real reason his brother had been so hell bent on returning to the prison before Daryl knew it himself.

The older man paused at the doorway, turning his head to speak over his shoulder. His voice had taken a soft, serious quality to it that Daryl wasn't accustomed to hearing. "All ya hadda say was that she was yours brother; that's all I needed to hear. I can respect that. I may be alotta things, but I ain't gonna steal my brother's woman."

Merle continued to walk out the door, whistling a nameless tune as he marched across the landing and made his way down the metal staircase.

A thought suddenly occurred to the confused younger Dixon. In three steps Daryl was out of his cell and leaning over the railing, trying to catch Merle's attention before he left the Cell Block. "Ya never told me what you wanted in the first place!"

Smiling, Merle turned to face his brother as he reached the doorway to the mess area. "What makes you think I was up here for you dummy? Like I said…nice décor ya had in ya cell." The older man winked at his brother, continuing his tuneless whistle as he strolled through the open doorway into the room beyond.

Daryl sighed in frustration, dropping his head into his hands as he leaned heavily against the railing. Why the hell did Merle always have to come and complicate shit? Make him deal with things he didn't need to be dealin' with. Carol weren't his woman. Never gonna happen. She didn't mean any more to him than any other member of the group. She couldn't.

As if summoned by his thoughts, Carol walked back into the cell block, holding a blanket wrapped bundle. She smiled shyly at Daryl as she rocked the swaddled baby gently in her arms. He acknowledged her presence with a slight nod of his head. Watching her as she quietly tended to Judith made Daryl think. All the thought's he'd been trying to keep outta his head these past few months slowly started filtering though. Maybe this shit don't need to be complicated. Maybe Daryl hadn't just returned to the prison 'cause it made sense. Maybe he needed to come home to something. To someone. Maybe all he needed was to admit to himself he was here for more than just the safety of the group.

He and Merle had lived before without shelter and without a steady supply of food, but watching Carol with the baby, Daryl realized there were other things you needed to survive.

Wherever Carol was, that was were Daryl belonged. She wasn't his, but she sure as shit wasn't gonna be Merle's. And that was enough for Daryl.

For now.


End file.
